Angry with heat

yes, this what happened with me. I was attending bikram almost for a year regulary. I completed the challenge and I was very happy with this. BUT… there was always something not quite right. I am always uncomfortable with it to some degree, but I believed so much in it that I was willing to overlook some discomforts. After all, discomfort is the part of life.

These discomforts were:

major:
– overall stress after practice, anxiety.
– poor sleep
– sweating in my sleep
– weight gain

minor:
– dizziness in class now and then (especially after I miss a class)

My flexibility was downgrading because I was constantly exercizing and I my muscles did not have any rest. When I would miss a week, my flexibility would perform amazingly. Only then I could feel that I am flexible actually. During my regular everyday classes my flexibility was almost non-exsistent, though my strength was definitely growing.

All in all I stopped. I stopped and I rested. And I felt great. I discovered sleep, I discovered how it can be without consuming too much food in the evening. My body has shrunk and I look good. But I know that I am missing on exercise and it is not only about looks.

What prevents me from going today? HEAT. I am angry with heat. I believe that it is heat that caused all these discomforts I experienced. I believe that extreme heat for such a prolonged time is not good for body and it causes stress, which in it’s turn causes anxiety afterwards, overeating and sweating, resulting in a poor sleep. When our AC was broken and I was exposed to extra-heat at home I had the same reactions: ruined eating patterns with the prolonged periods of not-eating and then consuming everything ina weird time (usually at nights, when it is cooler), i also had weird sweating patterns and I was stressed all over.

I also believe that I was able to build heat-tolerance by going every day to bikram. This is true, if I attend every day, I stop sufferring from dizziness during class. And instructors tell that it is important to go every day. And instructors do tell that if you return after the break, your heat tolerance is non-exsistent and you have to build it anew by going every day. This sounds right to me, but WHY???? Why should I endure this heat, which is so unbearable for the heart, which causes my body to experience this stress and which seems to take away the benefits one can expect from slwo exercise – calmness? I know that heat is important for muscles to become more flexible, but WHY it is important???? I am comfortable with my muscles the way they are. I do not want to trick myself into thinking they are better than what they are. I am comfortable with building my own body heat and working with this.

Am I wrong in understanding the wisdoms of bikram or I am just one of those people who need traditional yoga which is not infused with extra-heating?