body image issues

Does not sound crazy at all. I think a lot of people struggle with what you describe. This yoga is very challenging physically, but sometimes (ok most of the time) the mental part of it is just as hard, or harder. Learning to be able to turn those thoughts off is key, but also incredibly difficult.

Do your thoughts take form? Meaning, are there actually specific words you say to yourself? Or just an internal emotional reaction? One thing that might help is coming up with a few positive statements that you can say to yourself when you are faced with the negativity. As an example, if you tell yourself your stomach is flabby, find something appealing instead….maybe its the tone of your skin, or the feminine nature of its curve, or whatever. Find something, and replace your negative thought with the positive one. Instead of focusing on a flabby stomach, remind yourself that your practice is strengthening your core….empowering you from the inside out. What is a positive image for you might not be the same as for someone else, but find something and use it to counter act the negativity.

Over time, it will be nice to just notice the “youness” of you, without positive or negative judgment, but for now, it seems like you need a balance to the other side.

I hope that helps. And congrats for what sounds like a really strong practice!

– Kristin

Hello Sara and Kristin

Here’s another approach! When you see that body part and those thoughts are triggered, you can say to yourself any number of the following things in your own words. I will use the stomach as the example.

I love you tummy.
Thank you for holding my organs.
Thank you organs for always doing what you’re supposed to do to digest my food/protect me from disease/keep my body fueled and in balance.
Thank you for my curvaceous body.
I love you for being the womb for my beautiful children
I love how you move in and out for abdomino diaphragmatic breath.
Thank you for supporting my back.

There are hundreds of things you could say or think about your abdomen.

Appreciating your youness will, in the fullness of time, come without words. It is good to be specific in the interim and come up with some concrete reasons to love and appreciate your body for what it has done for you the last 40 years and what it will do for you in the coming decades (may they be numerous!).

Pretty soon that stuff will become an ‘gestalt’ unspoken and felt experience (without the continued need for constant re-affirmation) and you may very well find your focus improve too!

I am interested to know what comes up for you when you start to subvocalise your appreciation for ‘those’ body parts – if indeed your have a go at the above. There may be a process of habituation (potential initial resistance). Do tell.

Namaste
Gabrielle 🙂

Hi Kathleen

It has certainly been said that there is a dose of narcissism with the mirror-work in Bikram and hot yoga. But you know what? Whatever way you can find to learn to love yourself more is a good way. It is said to love yourself is the first step to being more loving to others. You see, yoga CAN change the world!

It also seems that to develop at least a significant amount of self-acceptance really only takes a pretty short time! With people who link their body size to their self-acceptance, it is fantastic to observe that should that person’s aim be to change body shape, that more often the body takes longer to change than the time to start appreciating the person they see in their reflection.

Namaste
Gabrielle 🙂

Hello there,

I am so happy I found this forum. My past is that I have been battling my eating disorder since I was a child. In my 23-24 I had another episode: anorexia (weightloss) this is when I started practicing bikram. I was not dangerously underweight first, I had a healthy weight to start with when I practised then it went dangerously down. I could not function so I called a therapist and started working on my self. In the meantime I went into bulimia and binge eating so I gained a lot, a lot , a lot of weight. But I am at a healthier place psychologically. It has been the most painful yet most beautiful past 5 years.

This year I promised myself : NOT TO DIET. Because for me dieting leads me to this desire to control food then to escape into it thinking if I am thinner: all will be fine. Instead I am learning my new balance, building a new relationship with my body, food and exercise (I also over exercised). Fast forward to this week, I went back to bikram yoga after those 5 years. Armed with a whole new mindset, and body. My body is much much bigger so I could not complete some poses because extra fat and flesh got in the way:

•  Dandayamana Janushirasana (standing head to knee pose) was the one that was the most difficult psychologically and physically. I do not see myself completing that pose at all. I started getting discouraged in the class.
• I could not do “fixed firm either”. My legs are thicker, so is my body so I cannot fit my body in between.
• Camel, rabit used to be my most favorite and now I have to learn to accept my limitations.

But even with all this, I still want to go back and keep going. Is that crazy ? I know I have to just accept and be thankful that I have fought a hard fight with my eating disorder. I continue the battle everyday. I hope to accept and cherish this body and enjoy bikram. I am not ready to let go of bikram yoga just because I am fat.

Peace and love

M.