The Hot Yoga Doctor – Free Bikram and Hot Yoga Resources › Hot Yoga Doctor Forum › General Hot Yoga Discussion › Hot Yoga *faq* › Saying "no" to a teacher during class
The Hot Yoga Doctor – Free Bikram and Hot Yoga Resources › Hot Yoga Doctor Forum › General Hot Yoga Discussion › Hot Yoga *faq* › Saying "no" to a teacher during class
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At the studio I go to, sometimes the teachers come over and help you. I know this sounds strange, but it’s without asking if you want any help. I rarely want help. I have limited mobility and balance, and I have talked to the teachers about my condition, and all of them have told me to just take care of myself, which I do quite well thank you. Most of the teachers don’t have a clue about what to do with a special needs person, anyway; however, that doesn’t stop them from giving unsolicited feedback or attempt to physically push me into a pose deeper.
Today a teacher pushed me into a pose deeper than what my body could handle and it caused a muscle to seize up. She stood over me telling me to keep going, and when I told her that I couldn’t move, she just shrugged her shoulders and walked away. She was not at all apologetic, and after the class, I went to address this with her, but she just said her way was the best way (i.e., too bad for you).
In the past, I have had to contest other teachers’ (un)helpful advice during class, and these teachers hissed at me to just do the pose “the right way” and to be quiet.
So I’d like to know how to address situations like this so they don’t happen in the future. How do you say no to a teacher in the middle of class if they’re giving you advice you don’t feel is of benefit or that may cause injury?
if a teacher addresses me in class and i dont agree or understand i just ignore it ….. I have a thing about not talking during class so I dont take the time to argue. then after class if I feel it warranted I will talk to to the teach about it. If a teacher came up to TOUCH me on the other hand i would then give a firm but polite no I dont feel comfortable being touched
I know most teachers are there to help. They will modify or suggest what one can do if they know in advance about your condition. A simple word with the teacher before class should do the trick. I know there is one teacher in my studio tend to push every student in the class to their limit. You are doing yoga for yourself so don’t worry about it.
Hi Wallflower
What can I say? You’ve had a terrible experience and really one that I would consider pretty much inexcusable. I don’t lay a hand on someone without at least saying “may I?”. Just to be clear I do contact people with a light touch on a shoulder or a hip or a neck or whatever without asking, but if it involves more than that then permission should be sought.
Doing a class is a lesson for the student and it is also a lesson for the teacher. It takes humility and compassion to teach. What kind of respect can you have for another human being if you believe yourself to be beyond reproach?
I like to think that students are free in class to respond rather than react to what is being said or taught. This is the difference between facilitation and didactic and militant methods.
If you are in a class and the teacher is instructing the whole group and suggests that ‘Beth’ shifts her hips into alignment, then you will – in fact most people will – instinctively check their own hips and try that suggestion on for size. You are not always the person whose name is being called out, yet it is you who decide how to be in your asana. In that instance if you have found that there was no adjustment to be made you are in fact saying “no” to that instruction. The beauty of the class is that over time you learn to respond rather than react to feedback, modifying your body and your responses. You find that you are developing equanimity. This is key to what you have to do now…
Whether the teacher commands you directly or vicariously, you have the DUTY and the right to listen to yourself and respond by energetically or verbally if necessary saying “no”. If they put their hands on you, you can say, “please don’t touch me” or “please ask before you touch me”. If they insist you can say “thank you but it feels better this way” or indeed if you are truly equanimous you will say “no thanks” without qualification.
It’s damn hard to do sometimes. There are all sorts of issues caught up in this: Nobody really wants to be singled out or cause a scene. But if you don’t react (and continue to do what works for you even if it seems to be different to what the teacher is commanding) and the teacher reacts by behaving in an aggressive or passive aggressive way, then that is simply THEIR STUFF! Try not to react to that.
So how do you say “no”? You just do, knowing that you are doing the best thing for you. There are a few things that could happen as a result: They could leave you alone because they think you’re unteachable; they could try to bully you and all that comes along with that; or you could find that there is someone who actually cares enough to approach you and say, “I would really like to know more about how I can help you”. Do you think you can approach the most sympathetic, empathic and knowledgeable teacher and see what they can do to help you?
In summary: Be firm; be assertive. You have the right to ask for what you want.
Namaste
Gabrielle 🙂My husband is a yoga instructor, he always says to the class “I may come around and help you with your posture, if you don’t like to be touched or have any injuries please let me know as it’s not a problem with me”.
I feel this shows respect to the participants of the class and the teacher really cares.
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