Stasis

Dear Gabrielle

For the past two months, after two and a half years of fairly intensive Bikram yoga practice (4-5 times per week, sometimes more frequently), I have grown increasingly discontented with the yoga to the extent that I fear that I am on the verge of losing my passion for it…
Needless to say, it upsets me a great deal considering how much pleasure I used to derive from it and how totally committed I felt to my practice. I have had ‘less enthusiastic spells’ in the past but I recognised them for what they were and simply kept on attending class with the desired effect.
This time it’s different and I don’t seem to be able to pinpoint exactly what caused this radical shift – or what the best course of action would be to overcome it.
About two and a half months ago, I started experiencing light-headedness, nausea, a lack of energy/stamina and severe difficulty breathing about five postures into class. This has happened before, and coincidentally, at the same time of the year – when humidity levels shoot up. It turned out that I had an iron deficiency which I took supplements for and to address the shortness of breath, I started attending the ‘cooler’ 6: 30 am class. I also started running to build up my stamina and somehow these measures combined worked a treat.
This time round, despite increasing my iron intake (I still go to class in the evening and could not maintain the running schedule I started for reasons that will become clear below) – my ‘symptoms’ gradually grew worse – mostly the dizziness and fatigue – to the extent that the last ten classes I’ve attended I could only do one out of each set of two postures (on a good day).
Besides feeling despondent about my physical strength and performance, I also found myself getting bored and listless… I’m somewhat frustrated about the level of instruction I/we have been receiving, it’s been very basic and formulaic of late – to the extent that I can’t say I’ve learnt anything in the past six months. I know one should rise above and move beyond it all, and throughout my practice I’ve been doing precisely that, but right now, I’m struggling.
Anyway, during this period, I gradually started attending class only three, maybe four times per week, then I went away for a week, got back, came down with the flu with the result that I missed about ten days of class altogether – a record for me. Last week Sunday I went back for the first time and had a horrible class, barely able to drag myself through it. Yesterday was my first class since, the reason being that on Wednesday this week I once again felt flu-ish (severe headache, muscle pains and feverishness) and, feeling quite alarmed at not being fit two weeks after I first came down with the flu, I went to the doctor.
Her assessment is that I am ‘fatigued’ which affects the immune system and, in turn, my ability to shake the virus. The dizziness she attributes to the possibility of an iron deficiency (yet again) combined with extremely low blood pressure. She advised a blood test to check my iron levels and a few other things (did not say anything about electrolyte levels, I realised afterwards), taking a lot of rest and: that I stop going to the hot room.
The question I’m faced with is whether I really should stop going for a while. I strongly considered taking a break, but given my present state of mind I fear it would not be for the right reasons – and despite my embarrassment at having to sit/lie down most of the class – something I might regret at a later stage. As I was made so acutely aware of yesterday, I am concerned that that much of the hard work of the past two years will be undone if I let my practice slip further… At the same time, the physical dimension clearly needs addressing, and I would like to know whether there is an effective way to correct the low blood pressure/iron deficiency and what I suspect to be an electrolyte imbalance – and how much time one should allow for it.

Last but not least, I’d be interested in any suggestions you might have as to how to restore the sense of peace and joy that used to define my practice.

A mouthful, I know. 🙂