The Hot Yoga Doctor – Free Bikram and Hot Yoga Resources › Hot Yoga Doctor Forum › General Hot Yoga Discussion › Diet, Clothing, Hydration and Drinking › Toilet Etiquette?
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Toilet Etiquette?
Just hitting the end of my Intro 30 Days of Bikram…
Yesterday went to class, during the warm up/standing series I had to go to the loo…
I kept it to myself, held it in and thought I could QUIETLY slip out when room’s in savasana before floor series…
I gave the teacher the ‘nod’ to slip out to be announced to ‘you are not leaving the room, you have to stay, back to your mat’…
She well put me in my box!!!
I was unable to do any of the floor series as lying on my front was not an option as my bladder was fit to burst! I did try most postures but I had to spend the rest of the class with my legs wrapped a tight as I could to not wet myself!!
I tried to catch her eye on numerious occasions and she blatently ignored me.
I believe there have been a few ‘toilet stand offs’ in our studio between a student and teacher having a stropp with eachother to the point of being argumentative though I have not been to one of these sessions. I tend to avoid confrontation but man, I got so frustrated…nearly to tears and then I just went home in rage that lasted all day and into the night!!
I have successfully attended everyday for the 30 Day Challenge and was so bloody mad, I may as well not have gone at all as I could not do 2/3rds of the class!
What is the etiquette of this situation? I’m 32 years old and know when I really have to go and it’s not mind over matter!! I understand it’s best not to leave and disrupt the class etc but if you can’t even continue with the class what’s the point!!!
If I just later ignored her and left for the loo…how would that have gone down?
PS: this is the ONLY time ever I wanted to leave the room for any reason.Etiquette schmetiquette!!!
Hi Anna
Your ability to be equanimous is being tested. A little definition of equanimity (for those who don’t know) is that you are not plugged in by it, you neither care nor don’t care about the situation.
The scenario: You are BUSTING to go to the loo. You have to go. You give the polite nod. There are alternative endings to this story.
Your teacher attempts to humiliate you. You respond by being ‘put in your place’ and you return to your mat. Your valiant attempts to assuage the teacher do not serve you because you can only think about your outrage (or insert other feeling) or at least you can’t think of anything but your bladder. Your anger continues for some time after class… 😉
Your teacher attempts to humiliate you. You respond by giving the silent “don’t even dare” look and you go to pee. You have had a standoff. But you both are pissed. You even exchange words after class. You restate your write to pee when you want to. She threatens you that you are not to do that again in her class. Rrrraaagggghhhhhh!!!! She said… I said… And so on and so forth.
Your teacher attempts to humiliate you. You respond by equanimously and respectfully going to pee. You (silently) acknowledge that you need to attend to your needs so that you can be present for the rest of your class. You return to class and your teacher may either try to tick you off again, or may even attempt to corner you after class. Each attempt is met by presence, with attendance to your needs, with fully honoring your body, your yoga, and yes, even your teacher. You listen to their words and even guess what of their needs are not being met by your absence (or by contravening their laws).
Anyway, I think you get the picture. When you don’t react, when you don’t respond with resistance then there is nothing to counter. It is NOT as if you consistently leave the room every single class. This was a one-off. Hey, but if it happens again, are you really being present if you are NOT listening to your body? Isn’t that what your teacher is ALWAYS telling you to do? At my teacher training there was a guy who left every single class to go pee. Now I know he should have worked it out. But guess what? He didn’t let ANYONE give him lip about it. It was in his energy. HE was PERFECTLY OK about it. So nobody mentioned it to him. I am not suggesting you start leaving the room but it is your response or reaction to what happens that is important to YOU.
Now that’s your yoga!
If your teacher reacts badly to someone who is equanimous then who’s the one who needs to take the lesson? It’s simply not your stuff!
Namaste
Gabrielle 🙂There is etiquette, and there is ETIQUETTE…
If you have to go, you have to go… so long as you slip out quietly, don’t cause a huge drama, and then slip back in – no problems! It seems counter-productive to spend half the class not being “present” and able!
:bug:
Thanks Gabrielle & Shona!!
On reflection Gabrielle, me getting myself in a temper is really my own problem, but, the painfully bulging bladder didn’t help!!!
Should the need arise again I will quietly slip out anyways and be sure to ‘fess up’ after class otherwise we are both possibly suffering! And when all is said and done hopefully both happy!Hi Anna
That is precisely my point! Your stuff or their stuff. Just got to be clear if there’s any stuff involved and to whom it belongs.
IMHO it’s important to make sure that if you happen to find yourself in a conversation with the ‘stuff’er that you as ‘stuff’ee never justify, explain or defend your pee-action. In that way it doesn’t become your ‘stuff’ – if you know what I mean! 😉
It’s probably best not to seek anyone out after the pee! You have nothing to explain. Let the person with the ‘stuff’ do the approaching. That way you can hear them, support them by being present and by NOT reacting or justifying. The more you leave it alone the better.
Re suffering: You are not there to process your teacher and very importantly they are not there to process you.
Namaste
Gabrielle 🙂Bah Humbug! When are these teachers and studios going to cease such bizarre draconian behavior (that they seem to have picked up as a “good thing to do” somewhere in their training).
No-one has any right to tell you that you cannot leave to visit the bathroom. This is a part of the “dictatorial cult” that’s been around for donkey’s years and I refuse to put up with it or beat about the bush when it comes to discussing it.
There is simply no place for it. Victorian values and childish put-downs can easily be stamped out in today’s society by being assertive (and since Gabrielle has eloquently suggested how I’ll leave it at that).
Now please excuse me, I need to visit the boy’s room …
🙂
Anonymous
GuestJuly 5, 2010 at 4:09 pmPost count: 98If you have to pee you have to pee. OR, you COULD pee on the floor beside your yoga mat if you wanted to make a point!
I’ve seen this at my studio (not the peeing on the mat solution, but the leave the room solution!)– a student started to leave, the teacher said NO you HAVE to stay in the room, the student said “I really have to pee”, the teacher said “We all get like that sometimes, just hold it in.”
At this point the student said nothing, and just slipped out the door to use the facilities — I mean, really, this isn’t a prison system and if you choose to leave you leave!
I think the etiquette is this:
1. Try to empty your bladder before class (you’ll get to know your body and your routine with respect to your fluid intake soon enough);
2. If you find you have to pee during class on a regular basis, you might try setting up at the back near a door until you get the hand of fluid management. This way, you can slip out the door before the teacher can stop you from the front of the class! If you are front and center, you will be more obvious when you leave.
3. You don’t need permission to leave – you might want to simply catch your teacher’s eye, point to your stomach, make a face, and leave. Hey, they don’t like you barfing in class cause THAT is disruptive, so take advantage of this! If the teacher questions you, just keep heading out the door. After class, you can talk to the teacher and say MAN it was an EMERGENCY and I really had to go.
4. Don’t reenter the room until the students are between poses. It IS disruptive when someone reenters the room and gets back into the class while one is in standing bow for example. It is much simpler to wait until a break between poses.
5. If this is a frequent thing, I’d be telling the instructor that I had some sort of bladder issue and may have to leave during class but I would be returning right away. That I didn’t want an accident right there and I was hoping that regular Bikram practice would solve this problem, that I were there to heal. Now that IS cheesy I know but I tell ya, alot of instructors will understand this approach and you won’t have an issue after that.
I think the thing is that Bikram instructors are told to not let students leave because they don’t want people taking breaks during class or having a medical issue in the hallway out of sight of the instructor. This is why they urge you to stay in the class, and it is part of the Bikram routine. Just always remember that you are the boss of YOU and that no instructor can force you to do anything that can injure you. You are the final authority when it comes to issues like these.
Stay strong and pee as required!
Freia
One other thought – to totally avoid this problem, I get all my water/electrolytes in and stop drinking TWO HOURS before class, so it has time to work its way through my stomach, through my bladder, into my cells and wherever the heck else it goes – and then I don’t take any into class, so I don’t have any digestion issues. Works perfectly for me.
Wow, Bonmar, I could not manage! I have tried for a year not to drink during class. And recently I have decided that I am the kind of person that likes to keep on taking a little water every 15 minutes or so (in between poses yes), like when doing any other type of sports for over 30 minutes. The interesting thing is that I thought I would be ‘distracted’ much more when taking the water, that was what instructors kept on telling me. The opposite is true (for me): I can concentrate much more on my yoga practice and feel much more relaxed. For me it was distracting to consciously think: do I really need the water? It is -again for me- much better to take a little water without thinking about it at all.
I normally do yoga at home (at same temperature and humidity levels as a Bikram studio) and once every month or 2 months it happens that I have to leave to go to the toilet. No problem for me. But I was very upset when I was told not to leave the room once when I was taking a class in a Bikram studio. It is a ridiculous rule according to me: of course you try to avoid it and of course you realize it may disturb other people. And of course you try to go when it minimizes disturbance. But if I have to go to the toilet, I have to go and I consider it as an emergency.Wow so glad someone else has experienced this! I went through a phase where every class I would have to pee after the belly down series, especially after bow posture due to the pressure on my tiny bladder!
I found my teachers quite sympathetic however, I would simply get up silenty while others were in savasana and make a face and point to my belly! Hey, if you have to go you have to go.
These days I have figured out that if I go straight before class I can usually make it through.
yup I’ve had to go a handful of times with no confrontation from teachers… only frustration at having to stop and leave but its minor and I can quickly get back in the zen mode lol
I have a few occassions that I need to go also.. but I was able to hold it til the end. But that feeling of holding and not able to go is uneasy. Maybe different gender can hold it better than other? I feel bad leaving the room.
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