krangie

Wow. It’s really good to hear all these stories from so many who are going through similar mental and physical challenges.

I haven’t been overweight for very much of my life at all, actually. I’ve been an athlete and nationally ranked swimmer in several events for most of my adolescent and adult life. My sophomore year in college, I sustained a career-ending injury that was so serious the doctor told me NO exercise whatsoever for at least a year. I had overtrained and pulled a muscle on my interior chest wall, so any time I breathed deeply, I had searing pains all across my chest. Needless to say, going from training 6-8 hours a day to nothing had its adverse effects on my body. In the four years since that injury, I’ve gained 60 pounds, and cannot seem to do anything to lose it. After 3 years on the weight-gain weight-loss rollercoaster, I’ve finally come home to Bikram. It’s the first place where I’ve had to really face myself and be honest about my body and what I’ve let happen to it. It’s also the first thing that has made significant changes to my physique

During my second month of Bikram I had a mentally tough class where I got so mad at myself for letting my body become so disobedient, letting my mind and body get so far apart from each other, that I cried in class. I just couldn’t stop being angry at myself for who I’d become. Being overweight is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with in regards to my self-image, because my outside no longer resembled who I thought I was–or who I wanted to be–on the inside. Inside I’m a disciplined, ambitious, happy person. Outside I’m just out of control.

The next day in class, I came back down. I realized that not only was I letting one aspect of myself drown out everything else that was positive, but that I can’t let the past ruin my present. I am who I am now. And, I’m doing the best thing I can possibly do for myself by being here in Bikram. I look forward to the changes that Bikram is making for me physically, mentally and spiritually.